I REMEMBER


Your letter sits at the bottom of my desktop drawer. the paper is crisp as most paper are after they dry from being wet. the ink is fading, sticking to both sides of the envelope. the pen you used mustve been cheap. I smiled. A part of the envelope flap has lost its stickiness. Still, there it lies, at the bottom of my desktop drawer. Unopened. Unread.

Its strange. I can still remember every other detail, but I'm slowly forgetting your face.

I remember there was no sun. The clouds were heavy and grey. The rain was foreboding.

From where we sat quietly, we could see the whole of the park. There was barely anyone else around. A few feet away a child cries in pain. Her knees has been scraped and she wants her 'mommy'. The mother, frantic, runs to her, whispering what we can only assume as soothing words in her ear. She carries her out of the park.

Not farther away a group of teenage boys has just wrapped up their basketball game. They were whopping and picking on the other team that they just beat. They continued screaming and laughing not minding anyone else as they exited the park.

Yet no words were spoken between us.

A couple, walking their dog, passed us by. One of them remarked, "It looks like its going to rain." I counted. Forty six steps. Forty six steps and I couldnt hear their footsteps anymore.

"How come the grass seems greener here," I said aloud to no one. And as expected, you kept quiet.

I stood up. Walked two steps. Looked around. Look back at you. And started to say, "You know--" but you stuck your hand out to me. In its end, you were holding out an envelope for me. I looked at it and then shook my head. I opened my mouth to say something but stopped because I know if I started to speak, I would cry.

So you took back your hand and placed the envelope where I was just sitting.

I felt the rain falling on my face. I saw the envelope getting drenched by heaven's tears. And I ran. I rand to the nearest shed. I shook off the raindrops in my hair, from my arms. I looked at you, you were still sitting at the park bench looking at me. I smiled. I motioned you to come out of the rain. To come with me, in the shed, to stay with me. To be with me. With me. You forced a smile, shook your head, stood up and started to walking away.

I remember catching my breath.

I remember thinking how your brown shirt looked darker as the rain fell in it.

I remember the way your hair clung to the back of your neck as it got wet.

I remember watching you walk away.

I remember wanting to run after you but instead picking up the letter and walking the other way.

I remember the sound of my heart breaking.

I remember..

Your letter sits at the bottom of my desktop drawer. Its still there. Unopened. Unread. Unforgotten..

Comments

John Ovrutsky said…
nice writing..emotional