"so you're really leaving," he said breaking the silence. we have been sitting next to each other quietly for some time now till he said that. i didnt even know if i wanted to talk, ans so i sighed and said what i could only think of to say.. "so you're really getting married?"
he stood from where he sat and knelt down in front of me so he could level with my eyes. he placed his hands on my knees and started groping for words, "you know why i'm doing what i'm doing, i have to own up to my mistakes.. man up.. face--"
"you dont have to explain," i said cutting into his sentence, "at least not to me." i tried my best to smile.
he shook his head, stoop up and walked a few steps away, "why?" he asked.
'why what?" i asked back laughing, trying to mask the sadness that i was feeling, feigning innocence , pretending i didnt know why he was asking what he was asking.
he turned around to look at me, "why are you leaving?"
once again i let out a sigh, "why not?" i couldnt bear to look at him, so i looked afar before i said, "there's no reason to stay..."
when i didnt hear him say anything, i looked back at him and motioned for him to sit back down next to me. "truth is.. i prayed for so long that you'd choose me, cried many nights because you never did, went crazy trying not to be obvious about it and finally feeling stupid about the whole thing." i paused to breathe, "funny thing is, i still love you, that im still completely sane but insanely in love with you," i had to smile hearing myself finally admit it out loud.
"and it hurt.. it still hurts, knowing that we can never be any more than this." i finally turned to look at him, "so yeah.. that's why i'm leaving."
he reached out to place his hand over mine but i shook my head and took my hand. "i most probably will not be in touch," i said and then i stood up to leave. i resolved to sigh for the last time and let one tear fall before finally walking away..