Saturday, March 29, 2014


I cannot begin to verbalize how grateful I am to be part of Passion 2014. 

I remember in 2011 how I cried because I was stuck in Dubai while Passion was in Manila, and how I promised myself that if they ever come back, I would make sure to see and worship with brothers and sisters in Christ. I remember hoping and waiting in 2013 that they will do a stint in Manila (since they did 2009 and 2011 and I thought it was every two years or so). I remember being disappointed when they didn't. 

I remember Relient K coming last year and also feeling frustrated that I didn't get to see them. I remember thinking of all my missed moments. (Relient K is not part of Passion but I still wanted to see them).

So last week, the Passion Ad popped up somewhere in my NewsFeed and I scrambled as I realized that it would be this week. I checked the tickets but they were already sold out. I almost cried. But because the Manila gig quickly sold out, they added another night. I reserved tickets and when I came to pick it up, I was told that there were a few tickets left for the March 28 show, which was the day I originally wanted to come see. 

Forgetting that it was a Friday and that the traffic is brutal and none of the taxis wanted to give us a ride; we arrived about 30minutes later and the worship was already starting. But I didnt mind. I dove right into it. Truly God's presence was at the place! 

I love Louie Giglio and his preaching style, he was funny and entertaining and to say that he is passionate is such an understatement. 

Louie's preaching was about how God makes dancers out of non-dancers, and true I didn't relate much on the non-dancing part as a child I used to dance a lot, but when he mentioned that they already played God's Great Dance Floor and might not play it again because a lot of people seemed bent on not dancing; my heart sank a bit. God's Great Dance Floor is just once of those songs that you can't help but dance to when you hear it (or at the very least bob your head to). 

Kristian Stanfill, David Crowder, and band only played 2 songs that I haven't heard of before but I didn't care because all the familiar worship songs made it much easier for me to sing along and just worship; truly worship. After a few more songs, Louie came back out and talked about how God commanded the heavens, the earth, and everything around and in it to praise Him. And to prove that the universe does praise God, Louie played the sound that the stars make as they orbit their axis, which is like a base beat. He also played the songs of humpback whales to show how the creatures of earth praise God. 

After showing us all the sounds of the universe, he proceeded to mash up all the sounds to make a beat. Pretty catchy. And then he turned down all the other sounds except the song of the humpback whales and he asked everyone to guess what was the song that the humpback whales were singing. With a few beats and a very soft accompaniment from the band, it started sounding like How Great is Our God. And everyone joined in on the song! SO I GOT TO SING WITH THE HUMPBACK WHALES  I GOT TO WORSHIP GOD WITH THE HUMPBACK WHALES. And then Louie played the songs of the stars. I GOT TO WORSHIP GOD WITH THE WHALES AND THE STARS!!! TRULY AMAZING!! 

At one point, maybe to cue in that the program was almost over, the lights dimmed and everyone started asking for more. The lights came back up  Kristian began to reintroduce the team and thanked Manila. And then they played a reprise of God's Great Dance Floor. The whole place was dancing and worshipping God, it was such an amazing sight! God was truly working! 

I feel so blessed and so happy. I know I don't make much sense but that's mainly because I'm still overwhelmed by the experience, so much so that I didn't get to take one single photo! Ha! 

And although the experience was amazing, I love how Louie ended his preaching, he said that after this night, he wished not to hear about how people would talk about Passion, how amazing it was, or the music, or whatever else, rather he hopes that people would talk about the reason for Passion, people would talk about Jesus more. 

And I know, I know, my post must seem that I do talk about the experience itself, but let it be said that the experience itself would not have been possible if Jesus Christ hadn't touched my heart and changed my life. And yes, I enjoy a good worship and a catchy song every now and then, but I will not be able to enjoy, listen, understand, feel, and worship, if God hasn't given me this ability to do so. My life is His as He has given His life to me. And I am alive in God's great dance floor. Thank you Jesus! All the glory and honor is Yours alone! 

Thursday, March 20, 2014

I don't even know what to call it

After being awake for 19 hours, I still couldn't sleep. I had this brewing in me, begging to be written out. I don't know what it means, or maybe I do and I just don't want to admit it. I just found myself hurriedly scribbling the words at 6am.

Because sometimes the night is cruel and it wont let you sleep
It prods and pricks until you bleed
It swings at you until it hits
It calls and beckons until you heed.

Heed and cry, and tears, and run
Race away from this reality you call life
One step after the other, breathless, panting, gasping for air
Nowhere to run, nothing to spare.

Hush child, slow down
And yes, child you are, in more ways than one
Listen, be still, don't run or fight back
Let it call, let it prod, let it keep you up.

Weather this night, weather this life
The dawn is here, the light is nigh
It will let up, it will pass
It doesn't feel like it, but trust me, wait it out.

And when your demons start calling, when the ghosts are back
Sit them down, talk it out
Hold on longer, fight a little bit harder
Look yonder, the daylight breaks your nightmare. 

Thursday, January 16, 2014

Love will be enough

That's the title of the story I wrote earlier today. It's inspired by Seabird's song of the same title.

I was speaking to a friend last night about writing (screenwriting) and short films and I thought I sort of promised him that I would work on the story board of a short film we attempted to shoot about three years ago. 

The teaser for the short film we attempted to shoot.

On the way home though, as I was contemplating, what to me felt like, this tremendous task while listening to Seabird's Troubled Days album, I was struck with an idea to write a different storyboard for a this story.

So I initially wanted to write an AV script and draw the storyboard for that story as I could picture in my head how I can use Seabird's We Can't be Friends as closing credit song or even a background music in one of the scene. But throughout my commute, Love Will be Enough played and I just had to write this story. 

So I drafted the story on the way home while the song was on repeat. When I got home I wrote the AV script and attempted to draw a storyboard.

My weak attempt at a story board
Now I'm not sure if I should publish/share my story. Or keep it and "hope" to translate it into a short film someday soon. 

Tuesday, January 7, 2014

This is about you

I saw you from across the room, in your black three piece suit. You look "dapper", to say the least, it's as if you haven't aged a bit. 

I know you saw me. I know you did. You tried to pretend not to as I averted my gaze from you. But you saw me. You saw me and I saw you. 

For a moment, just a split second, I let myself wonder what it would be like if we had fought harder, held on longer.. But I knew she was close, she was almost always close. She never, maybe rarely, leaves your side. So I brushed the thought away, as quickly as she appeared next to you. 

I smile at the thought of what could have been but I'm grateful more for what isn't. I don't know if you would've been different if it was us, if I would let you be what you are now, what you were that night. 

Regardless, this is us. That is you with her and this is my life. You looked and so did I. For a moment the past was alive. And in a second, before it's too late, we I chose the present, me without you.. Me never being with you. 

It's not as sad as it sounds (reads). A post can only say so much. To go on how life has led us to different paths or made us different people would ruin the moment I'm trying to describe, when our eyes met and we knew what we had, acknowledge what we now have, accepted what we will never become. 

Thursday, January 2, 2014

Starting the year with a good book!

This year, I'm getting back to my first love. And that is book reading!

I miss the days when I would literally, well almost literally, bury my nose in a book. I would be one of those people who walks slow in a busy street because I was reading a book. I spent lunches reading instead of eating. 

Reading a book is my therapy :) 

I wanted to start the year by re-reading my favourite book, Unbearable Lightness of Being, by my favorite writer, Milan Kundera. But I couldn't find where my sister has kept it. 
The caption to this photo was, "All a girl ever needs is her camera and her book" (when I was still into photography)

So instead I am settling for Life is Elsewhere by the same author. I like to put my name and the date of when I purchased a book on the upper right hand corner of the first page, and seeing that I remembered that I bought this book in 2010. I haven't finished reading the book since. Haha. So I'm re-reading it and familiarizing myself with Jaromil and Maman  
Life is Elsewhere

One of my "cultured" friends, Mycko, has been bugging me to read and finish this book. He knows how much I love Kundera, and to him, this is Kundera's best work. So yes, here goes sleepless nights and foregoing sleep in a bus or preferring to walk briskly because I am falling in love once again. 

Sunday, December 29, 2013

Why I like staying at hotels

My favourite friend, dee, flies home to the philippines in two weeks. And although, she'll be staiying in Manila the first week, she travels back to Baguio with her husband and son shortly thereafter (because that's where her husband and child is currently based).

Consequently, that would also mean that I have to travel to Baguio of I want to spend any time with we in the brief month that she'll be staying. Being that it is in two weeks or so, I am already scrambling for places to stay at when I get there. 

My top choice is my easiest pick, Casa Vallejo. It's this quaint boutique hotel located right smack in the middle of Session Road, in front of SM Baguio. Again, it's quaint, it has history, it's quiet. It houses it's own spa, bookstore, and restaurant, which to me is actually super convenient. 

Next on my list is Jack's Grand Loft (?) in Kisad Road if I'm not mistaken. It's a fairly new hotel that has great review on tripadvisor. It's small and from the photos and reviews, the architecture and feel of the place is amazing, the food isn't top notch but then again, it's free breakfast. 

Third choice would be Bloomfield Hotel, what could literally be a stone throw's away from Casa Vallejo. They also house their own spa and have special room rates should guests wish to stay in rooms without aircons (I'm not sure if the rooms are provided with electric fans instead) 

Many of people I know frowns unto my choice of staying in a hotel, citing unnecessary spending as the main reason. And yes, that is partly true as between those three hotels, my  3days 2nights Baguio trip will cost me somewhere from 3800php to 5400php just on accommodation alone.

And yes, I have considered that and as much as both I and my pocket hate to dish out that kind of money on accommodation, I still prefer to stay at a hotels mainly because I am very sensitive about toilet space and it's cleanliness. I would like to be able to go inside the toilet and be able to stretch my arms out. I also would like (but would not find it nevessary) to have warm water for showering on nights or mornings. Free toiletries may make me sound very cheap but I like that I don't have to think to remember to bring toiletries or look for tiny containers for my toiletries or have to buy new travel size anything. 

Number 2 reason would be because of the bath towels. I like packing light. And I hate having to pack anything wet. Staying in a hotel where towels are clean and is something that I didn't have to bing or take home is a major plus for me! I would be able to tick off yet another "I have to bring this" on my list. 

And finally, the third reason I like and prefer staying in a hotel is the security. Last July when I visited and stayed at Casa Vallejo, I was able to leave my phone charging in my room for more than 4-6 hours while I was out enjoying the city. I like that. I like that I can leave my phone and not have to worry about it getting lost. I like that after a whole day of going about the city, exhausted from everything, I can plop into sleep and not have to worry that my phone is charging will it get lost or where is my wallet I should put it under my pillow or inside my shirt.  

So yeah, I have two weeks to decide where to stay. Anybody else have any other Baguio hotel suggestions? 

Wednesday, December 4, 2013

The worst part of a period

To me, that would be the stomachaches.

Oh yes, this is not some cheesy post about a vague period in my life, rather it's about the period that comes every month (or in my case, whenever it feels like it). Yep, that my period. 

And yes I mean the stomachaches and not cramps. Trust me, I know the difference. In the span of -- years of bleeding I have had the cramps once, maybe twice. And it's not like the regular stomachaches I get when I'm on my actual period. The debilitating pain of cramps is so that I cannot even bother to get up, I just lied in bed and waited to die. But that is a story for another day. 

So, stomachaches. I get this serious stomach pains every time on my period. It's that constant pain of feeling that you always want to do number 2, if you're lucky; because most of the time it feels like somebody or something is trying to crawl out of your stomach (if this is what being pregnant is, I shudder at the thought of it). It feels like you can actually feel the blood falling off the wall of your uterus (imagine a block of ice falling away from an iceberg) but your uterus is located in your stomach rather than  where it actually is. It feels like you have gas that will never run out regardless of how many times you try to pass it. It feels like a little creature is knocking at the walls of your stomach, with their sharp claws or teeth. It feels like it will never go away. T_T 

So yeah, times like this being a woman sucks. And oh, TMI I know but the pain is making me do it